本書是一本婚姻幸福說明書!
想要保有和諧的夫妻關係,最重要的秘訣有二:(1)建立正確的婚姻觀;(2)有健全的情緒管理。本書根據這兩大重點,一方面仔細分析維持婚姻關係的訣竅與夫妻相處之道,另一方面探討為什麼很多夫妻即使明白上述道理,仍然難以實行的原因,並提出改善的實用建議。
依據聖經創世紀第二章第十八至的二十五節的教導,正確的婚姻觀及經營婚姻的五要件是:互相幫助、彼此討好、犧牲奉獻、完全接納,以及絕不離婚的決心。這五個幸福密碼也呼應了「愛的真諦」這首歌要闡述的婚姻最重要的基石。
影響親密關係的另一個重點則是情緒傷害。
我們過去所受的心靈創傷,會形成「情緒傷害」累積在心裡,以致夫妻生活中的小磨擦,莫名其妙演變成大吵或冷戰,使婚姻陷入僵局……。
情緒傷害的成因來自於「愛」的不當表達,通常源自於小時候,父母、師長的「愛之深、則之切」造成的。長大後我們基於相同心態又扮演傷害者,首先傷害最親近的伴侶,然後夫妻一起傷害子女。
婚姻中的情緒問題處理不當,婚姻關係會因此受挫、甚至面臨仳離的困境;但是反過來說,如果夫妻兩人的關係因應得當,就可以互相幫助扶持,一同面對成長時留下的問題,也讓婚姻關係更加穩固,享受喜樂自在的婚姻生活,同時也為下一代創造喜樂的美好家庭生活。
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